‘The Dating Game’: Sundance Review

Dir: Violet Du Feng. US/UK/Norway. 2025. 91mins

The heart is a lonely hunter in The Dating Game, especially when the odds are so stacked against it. Violet Du Feng’s highly entertaining documentary follows three young Chinese men desperate for love and prepared to attend a seven-day dating camp to increase their chances of finding it. Individual tales of the lovelorn are woven into the bigger picture of a society living with the consequences of its one-child policy. An insightful, appealing film touches movingly on the human need for connection, and should receive a warm reception from audiences and distributors following its premiere in Sundance’s World Cinema Documentary competition.

Sustained by the humanity that Du Feng finds in each of these individuals 

Du Feng, who previously directed Peabody Award- and Emmy-nominated 2022 documentary Hidden Letters, provides some context on how the one-child policy left China with 30 million more men then women. She then introduces us to dating coach Hao and his latest pupils; 36 year-old Zhou, shy, immature 24 year-old Li and quiet, introspective 27 year-old Wu. Hao plans to build their confidence, transform their appearance with a complete makeover and teach them all the techniques guaranteed to bring them success.

Hao is brashly confident, well-groomed and happily married so appears to have all the answers. The pupils are still wary of what he proposes, wanting to be authentic rather than a version of themselves that they don’t recognise. What is the point of this game if everything is built on an illusion? 

The Dating Game unfolds in Chongqing, a city with a resident population of some 30 million. Cinematographer Wei Gao captures a sense of the scale and sprawl of the place, from its towering skyscrapers to bustling shopping malls and beguiling city lights. At any moment of the day, the streets are populated by the young and beautiful. Their numbers only make our trio more insecure. They are all convinced that they lack the looks, status and wealth that might make them a catch. 

The film takes on more complexity as we learn about Hao and his pupils. Hao’s wife Wen is also a dating coach and their scenes together are a revelation. She claims that her job is to help women recognise that their criteria for a boyfriend are unrealistic. All knowing smiles, rolling eyes and sarcastic comments, she describes Hao’s methods as “greasy” – saying out loud what many in the audience will have been thinking.

If Hao is allowed to be an object of ridicule at times, Du Feng takes the three young men seriously when chronicling their vulnerability and clueless approach to dating. The film widens its focus to touch on the way the move from rural to urban China has impacted on modern relationships and the growth of square-jawed, sensitive virtual boyfriends who offer everything a girl could want – apart from being real. 

Du Fang’s winning approach is to keep peeling away the layers of who this central trio really are. The reserved Wu sparks alive during a photo session with a pack of adorable husky dogs and is much more at ease with animals than humans. Li is terrified of making the first move or even talking to a girl. Zhou is a romantic and a realist, aware that his age may have already rendered him over the hill in the dating stakes.

The Dating Game is sustained by the humanity that Du Feng finds in each of the individuals we come to know and understand a little better. The bond that develops between them is a sweet friendship, and the shots of isolated moments of quiet contemplation add to the overall poignancy of a film that ultimately salutes the virtue of  being true to yourself. An epilogue set one year later shows that the dating coach may have learnt as much as the pupils over the course of their week together.